4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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