I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
