I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
operation have a gay friend backfired
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
