are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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