piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
