No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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