LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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