I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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