Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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