Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
