She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
