please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
