We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Even my vagina gasped.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
