You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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