what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
