i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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