Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
