Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize