Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
