I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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