it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do vagina's smell?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
