it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
