found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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