You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
