The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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