I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize