I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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