Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
