I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
