My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
