Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize
