I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
