I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
