I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
