how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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