Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
