you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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