her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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