so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.