Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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