fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
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