Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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