i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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