I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
