yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Operation Purity has been aborted
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
