You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
