i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
