I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
