You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
