my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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