Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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