Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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