cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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