It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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