I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
