It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
