Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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