doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
