Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
