that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
