Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
