I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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