the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
