So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
