Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
