He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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