look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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