Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
