i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
And then he peed in my hair
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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